Sunday, December 7, 2008

Seriously. The Sequel

I had three standout customers today.

1. Tag Switcher. Tag Switcher brought a nice sweater up to the counter and when I rang it up, the cost was around $5 and the description was for a t-shirt. When I brought this to her attention and pulled up the true price of the sweater, Tag Switcher protested loudly by saying, "Oh no, no NO" and turned around and left. A coworker pointed out that Tag Switcher is a regular and tries that old switcheroo on everyone. Sure enough, the tag was distressed where she had removed it from one shirt to put on the sweater.

2. Queen of Customer Service. QofCS brought a pair of pants that were marked $4.99 to the register. They rang up for around $8, then with the discount went down to $6. I'm not sure where the markdown sticker on the pants came from, because ours are easily peelable and we have some goofballs with access to a sticker gun, but either way it wasn't a valid price. I brought the discrepancy to the manager on duty's attention and she said that we couldn't sell the item at that price. I got a lecture from the QoCS about the policy at Macy's, then she told me she owned a business, blah blah blah. I know I had the "You are seriously not arguing with me over a $6 pair of pants" look on my face. She kept on and on so I told her I'd be happy to return the pants for her and as I went to process that, she decided that she really indeed wanted the pants.

3. Ghetto Trick. Ghetto Trick was missing a few teeth, very loud and chewing on a See's Candy lollipop as she tried to scam a few gift boxes out of us. She had a kid who she plopped down in our little kids entertainment section and ignored until we heard customers gasping, then we saw her kid- sitting buck naked in our kids chairs. GT tried to hand us a piss soaked Pull Up to put in the trash. How I managed to keep the "Oh Hell no" in my mouth I may never know, but I did manage to direct her to the trash can in the mall corridor in a ladylike manner. She left the kid in the store in his jeans while she did that and I was talking to him when he said, "My pants are wet" and sure enough, he had stood there and pissed his pants. By the time Ghetto Trick was back in the store, that kid had stomped around the kids area in his piss pants.

Today was a pretty lively day.


Judi said...

Wow! I didn't know you could actually do those things!

Thanks for the tips!

Kimberly said...

I was just wondering how Mama Fidel was doing today, when I clicked on my link to you and found that YES, you are going to blog the unavoidable funniness that is bound to come out of working in retail.

I'm looking forward to it like it is a Christmas present :)

Lotta said...

GTFO! Ok, that kind of makes me sad for Ghetto chick's kid.

Laura said...

I knew that you would have some good shopper stories!! not expecting 3 in one day, but hey, it's the holidays!!

SkitzoLeezra said...

Oh, the things you'll see, hear and smell in the world of retail. It is worse than a diarrhea infected zoo - the shit that you'll have to deal with.
Instead of drafting kids into the military, they should have to work retail for a couple years. Sure, they'll be bitter but they will learn compassion for their fellow citizens OR go the other way and become well conditioned to cold heartless but effective sniper shooters.

Anonymous said...

OMG WTF!!! You know what, sometimes there just is no reason to keep your mouth shut! And those were 3 reasons why! I couldn't have contained it at all! And I so hope that I think I know where you work now...maybe the 'kids section' gave it away? Did I just give away some gift cards to there?
Ugh! I must know!

Stacy said...

OH my! People are such a hot mess. Seriously #2 makes me LOL arguing with you over $1.01. I know the economy is bad but seriously???? That is ridiculous!

trashalou said...

That was always the thing that got me when I was working in retail - how much nicer it would be if I didn't have to work with the general public!