My uterus is freaking killing me. Luckily for everyone else around me, I'm medicated to the gills or else things would be ugly around here. I finally took the Aquadots back to Wal-Mart today for a refund and the moron behind the counter kept telling me to go get another box so she could ring it up or exchange it. I told her at least 3 times that they had been recalled because they were poisonous and were not on the shelves. Apparently I wasn't doing my customer-to-moron exchange in a manner that she could understand so finally I said "FUCK this, I will take them to Toys R Us where they will refund them with no questions asked, you gd idiot". Actually I just rolled my eyes and said "I'll take them to TRU, they will take them back" when I really wanted to stuff the cat sculpture my daughter made underneath her dumbass eyelids until she was poisoned herself.
Toys R Us actually took back the Aquadots, no questions asked, and refunded the money back onto my Visa, not even making me do a store credit. I was very impressed with that so I tried to shop there but walked out empty handed. You know your kids have too much crap when you can't even spend free money in TRU. I did get a lot done this morning but yet the house looks like pigs live here. I burnt all my energy finalizing Christmas shopping and doing errands. I stuffed my guts with a McRib, which is on the 3rd annual farewell tour, and all I want to do is sit here in a ball and think about vacuuming out my evil uterus. I have no need for it any more and all it does is cause me pain and misery. It has made me forget all about my gouty foot.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
O-motherfing-UCH
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7 comments:
My mom still claims that her favorite Christmas present EVER was her hysterectomy back in 1995. She kept the glossy photos they took w/ the lapriscopy on the coffee table for months and has been a much more pleasant person since.
Found you through Ashley and I'm totally loving your blog. Who am I kidding, I love any other mom who swears as much as I do - its like comfort in numbers. This way, I can say well Mama Fidel swears so it must be ok!
It must be annoying uterus week. At least you are not alone!!
I was just thinking...... maybe if you licked the aquadots or perhaps put them between your cheek and gum, you wouldn't even know you had a uterus.
Just saying.
LMAO plumtickled!!
Judi, I can't count the number of times I've pondered having an aquadot snack. Unfortunately, I had returned those for some cold, hard cash (thank you Toys R Us)so they weren't around to give me uterine amnesia. I'm asking Santa for a hysterectomy. I'm over this period stuff.
Sorry about your uterus. Are you done having kids?? If so check into having a endometrial ablation, in my opinion the NOVASURE is the best type. (i happen to be a nurse in an ob/gyn office). We now do this procedure in our office, some offices there might do it too. Anyways, hope you feel better soon
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