Dear Santa,
Let's talk a little about my Christmas list. I hope you have a prescription pad because I really need something to keep me from buying a stun gun and shocking my hard-headed ass children when they ignore me for the 100th fucking time. I've tried everything short of tasering the little assholes and I just can't win. Yesterday, Moggie took a pair of wire clippers to a $300 fake olive topiary and gave it a pruning Edward Scissorhands would have applauded. Or clicked, whatever the hell that weirdo does to show his admiration. I had to have me a special Irish coffee to recover from that one. Ok, I had to have 3 special Irish coffees and an extra happy pill.
Next thing I'd like is to have a good therapist to come in and talk me out of dreaming about my teeth breaking off and dead bison. I would prefer dreams of martinis and shopping.
Yes, Santa, I know that you can't drug me into someone who can make her children listen without employing a wooden spoon, nor can you voodoo the strange dreams out of me, so I'll give you a list of things that you can buy to numb my pain a little. These things are in no particular order, so feel free to pick whatever you would rather me have.
- iPod Nano
- Cast Iron double griddle
2 comments:
Ooh, I have the 'teeth breaking' dream too. I know that losing your teeth in a drbeam is supposed to represent moving on to a new stage in your life, but no idea what breaking your teeth is all about.
Tilly, I think all of the tooth dreams mean big change in some way. My family and Fidel's family have some serious illnesses going on and the outlook isn't too bright.
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