I'm in the middle of the second battle with the lice. Imagine, if you can, having a 3-year old and a 5-year old with heads full of nits. You are out on your front porch in your too-fancy-for-that neighborhood, looking like a white trash chimpanzee picking bugs, and the little mushmouth fucker next door rides up wanting to play. I told him that the girls couldn't play tonight so he pouted and went back home and the mom came out acting all huffy. First of all, bitch, I didn't invite your kid over because I fucking hate him. Secondly, these 2 beautiful angels have heads full of blood-sucking vermin so I don't think you want mushmouth to come over here and get a crop of his own. Thirdly, who the fuck are you to get huffy with me for rebuffing your uninvited, greatly unlikeable kid?? I mean, for REAL!!??
In the middle of picking my little baboons, Fidel crackberries me to tell me he's on the way home from the airport. I shot him a quick email back asking him to pick up Chick Fil A for dinner since I'm pretty tied up with head critters. I got all sorts of attitude about that. By all means, hurry your ass home so you can get involved with this nightmare that I'm reliving, since you've conveniently escaped all other lice issues. By all fucking means, Fidel, give your PMSing, hungry from dieting, tired, pissed off wife something else to get worked up about.
You know, I've been trying to not waste money but this is one bitch who will be sitting her lazy ass up in a pedicure chair at 9 am after that preschool drop off.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Oh, YOU'RE Inconvenienced by My Children's Lice??
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4 comments:
I would have sent mushmouth home with some friends >:(
You would think Fidel would know better than to give attitude when you are so pissed. Must not like himself today and looking for some torture!
Next time the bitch from next door comes over, sprinkle a few of the buggies on her head.
And, mmmm Chick Fil A...we don't have those here, but man do I love them!
Seriously - that lady is whack! You should have sent him home with some bugs. Although she's so dense she would NEVER notice which would only cause yet another infestation when he started pinning down Tootie give her unwanted lovin'.
I can't stop laughing.......I'm adding you to my google reader subscription list.
You should have given mushmouth the comb you were using and told him to put it in his mommy's panty drawer.
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