JWs Getting Lazy

My friend Stacy called me this morning while I was driving Moggie to preschool to tell me she got solicited by a JW in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot. She was rushing to get some grub and get to work and here's this lazy ass JW trying to hand her a Watchtower. I would have been like, "Unless that's a donut coupon, keep walking sister". I mean really, that's kind of lazy isn't it? Just hanging out at your car to pass out leaflets as people walk by you to get some food. Kind of like those hunters baiting game and then shooting them at the feed through. L-a-z-y. I would really be nervous to go ringing doorbells but I'm a little paranoid that way. Sometimes you can run across a harmless prankster like me, but you could really run across really dangerous people. Maybe Jehovah sends down a package deal in the Cult Kit, with a taser, pepper spray, and stacks of Watchtowers along with an autographed copy of How to Alienate People and Lose Favor. I wish I could see some statistics on how many folks are actually recruited on the doorbell drives. You know they say they have won the battle even if you are hiding and won't answer the door. They say their presence automatically makes you think of God. Well, that's true. Every time I see them I call out to Jesus, kind of in the way that I call to him when I see an oncoming cop car when I'm speeding. Jesus. Yes, it's blasphemy but at least it keeps Ratfuck from passing my lips and that's what I really want to say.

Now, I'm off to continue my gardening adventures this morning. One of the featured blurbs in the marketing materials for our neighborhood was something like, "Every home professionally landscaped by a master designer", which I'm calling bullshit on since I have some jacked up landscaping. We have these big ugly-ass Cannas in our front bed that just throw everything out of whack because they are so big and out of scale compared to the rest of the landscaping. Cannas are tropical, and while they are pretty in the right setting, our home has a woodland feel about it, with the stones and architectural features. Definitely not tropical, so the Cannas are going to the great garden in the sky. The Japanese Beetles loved chowing down on them so there's another reason for them to go.

Hope you have a great Friday!