Diet Pills + Coffee = Crack

This morning, I grabbed me a bagel and cream cheese with a coffee and wandered next door to the health food store for some diet pills. I washed 2 of those down with coffee so I'm all jacked up and ready to work. I haven't taken diet pills in a while and I had forgotten how productive they make me. I may actually be ready for this party on Saturday.

Speaking of the party... This is something the 3 wives of the business owners put together. We are having it at our house because we have a good house for entertaining, lots of living space and a good kitchen setup. Apparently that's where my involvement ends because I've been cut out of the loop as far as the menu from the caterer goes, and I was instructed on what drinks to serve. I can throw a mean party and have many witnesses to that fact. Perhaps it's because I'm all cracked out on diet pills and caffeine, but it is offensive to me to be told that the food has been approved and that I need to stick to scotch, bourbon and 2 types of martinis. I want to ask her if she can select my outfit, the candles and draft a piss schedule while she's at it. It is very hard to not drop a Look, Bitch on her but the last drop of "good" that I have in me is telling me to give her the benefit of the doubt. The rest of me is telling me to whip out my marvelous mojitos as an act of rebellion and to serve Lil' Smokies from my 80's crockpot. Telling me how to throw a gd party. Hmmpf.