Tales from the Country - NOT for the Faint of Heart

I spent NYE away from my dear husband, and with my family in the country. My grandfather was released from rehab on January 1 and I went down to help get their house ready for his arrival home, and I wanted to be there when he came home, just to welcome him. I spent NYE washing dishes in Clorox and cleaning out long-neglected cabinets and storage spaces, but my poor Aunt D. spent the day taking my senile grandmother to a way overdue physical. On the way there, my grandmother kept asking, "Now where are we going?" and Aunt D. told her they were going to the medical center to finalize the delivery of Papa's hospital bed. When they got to the medical center, my grandmother said, "I'll just sit here in the car", and it took a little more trickery to get her inside the doors. Once she got inside, Aunt D. still didn't tell her she was there to be examined. They got her signed in and back to the blood pressure/weight/whatever else they do station and the nurse told her they were going to check her out. In this particular medical center, as in many that I have seen, the BP station is out in the open. The nurse was apparently non-specific when she said, "Ok Mrs. J., we are going to check you out here" and my grandmother looked at her, serious as can be, and said, "You aren't going to check my pussy are you?" Aunt D. said the entire room was silent and the nurse said, "Jesus Christ". Can you imagine an upstanding 83-year old lady asking that in a room full of people? I probably would have peed myself laughing.