I have been hearing a commercial for a product called Evercleanse, and since I'm sitting here bored stiff, I finally checked out the website. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. You have to go check it out, but be warned that you won't be able to think about pooping without laughing at The Beast. I'm talking to my friend Ashley and we are dying laughing. This is no lie. They have a picture of an enormous curved turd and the picture is captioned, "Meet the Beast, Get Rid of it Now!" and it just frightens me silly to think that a turd of that size and shape might come out of me if I take the Evercleanse. The site is a hoot, just with the layout and the photos of doctors and skinny bitches with measuring tapes around their flat bellies. Hell, I might not be fat, I might just need to poop out The Beast. I pray to God that I don't dream about the Turd Beast tonight. Or at the very least, I just dream of the cartoon Turd Beast on Shit Mountain depicted on page 2. He's a Sugarplum Fairy compared to that crazy turd.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Unleash the Beast
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4 comments:
So did you order any? I'd hate to be on a cruise ship with you if you realeased that beast!
Hell. No.
I did run into the health food store for some diet pills this morning and started talking to the chick who works there about The Beast since I was reminded about it by their display of colon cleansers. She said she knew someone who did a cleansing like that and produced a 2 foot tapeworm. See, I'd be pissed if I had a tapeworm sucking some fat out of me and ended up crapping him out. Seriously though, I'd be scarred if I pooped a tapeworm or any sort of worm.
You need to check the "Colonix" website. The "picture gallery" will take your breath away....
http://www.drnatura.com/colonix_program.php?gclid=CNfYguS8kpECFQp7PAodjWq-QA
That colonix site was something else! Can you imagine leaving the shitter to go grab a pencil and a camera!? And then emailing pictures of your face and your shit to be posted together on a public website?! They must have shit their brains out.
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