Puke, Crap and Money Down the Drain

My children have never been pukers, until this week. We, as a family, have some sort of bug that causes vomiting and the runs. I haven't personally had intestional troubles other than feeling queasy when cleaning up the vomit and crap of other people living in this house. Let's not forget the animals because I've cleaned up dog vomit and slimy shit this week, too.

I was lucky enough to get 2 maids in here today to clean for the party on Saturday. They left around 3 and since then, I've spent my afternoon and evening with my dear husband, cleaning up the diarrhea and vomit of our two lovely daughters. Moggie had a blowout tonight in bed, dragging her poopy butt into the bathroom to remove her panties and let the rest of the putrid slime ooze out of her. She then toddled across her carpeted bedroom to put those poop-soaked panties in her clean underwear drawer, then back into the bathroom to cover up the poop with the clean bathroom rug before she called for some help. Of course nothing works on poop stains like good old Clorox. Except the maids used an entire big bottle of Clorox today.

Instead of doing my final errand run before the party tomorrow, I'll once again be playing footservant to my children. If I'm lucky I can make it to Wal-mart for a few jugs of Clorox and some children's Immodium without one of those turkeys puking in my car. I think they prefer puking and crapping on my nice clean floors anyway. I just flushed that cleaning money right down the drain.