Help Me, Jebus

The lines on my laptop are multiplying and morphing. I had 3 vertical lines and now I probably have 9 vertical lines and I get blinks of horizontal lines. I had Fidel in Costco today and I was shoving iPods and laptops in his face telling him that I wanted them but he went on back to the meat section like I was asking for something inappropriate. I think when he starts wiggling the wiener at me tonight I'm going to talk about raw chickens at bargain basement prices or something. Really though, I'm buzzed and I've gotten way more out of doing BJs than I have by being a smartass so we all know what I'll be doing later on.