It's Too F-ing Hot for This

I have been doing my household drudgeries today, like moving the dining room table to mop thoroughly underneath, vacuuming upholstery, windowsills, blinds, etc. Basically I'm crazy as a loon because sane people don't willingly do crap like this. Or maybe I'm having a moment of sanity because sane people DO do things like this. Really, who is to know. All I know is that it is hot as sin in this house. I had the bright idea to open the windows to get some fresh air going on so the air conditioners are off.

The f-ing dogs have suddenly turned incontinent because they are demanding to go out every 30 minutes. I cannot get anything done with them around. I finally get the girls to play without me and get stuck with demanding dogs. Go figure. I did manage to drag the dead summer plants off of my front porch to my skank storage spot at the end of the driveway. I'll be dumping that shit next door in the gulley once the cover of darkness falls and my fermented tonic gives me a little more of that good old don't give a crap attitude.

Random thoughts of the day:

• Citronella plants do NOTHING for mosquitos. Save your money for anti-itch cream.
• If you want to get rid of your children, clean their playroom. It suddenly becomes irresistible and they will stay in there all day.
• Encourage your children to clean their playroom by shoving random toys into a big black garbage bag and telling them what's left on the floor after playtime goes into the garbage.

That's all I have for today, folks. I'm grumpy, sweaty and hungry. I want a maid, a good dinner and dogs that can agree on the same potty schedule. But for now, I'll settle for a Bud Lite.